Self-Respect Relay

Self-respect is one of the most positive attributes any person can own. However, through my own personal experience self-respect is something that can be knocked down and shattered into a million pieces in one instance by the most minuscule of occurrences. Self-respect is defined as, 'a proper sense of one's own dignity and integrity,' although I believe that self-respect manifests itself not only through an internal measure but also an external.

For example, it is the norm for people to aspire to act like others, to look like other people or to adopt similar lifestyle or traits of another individual, this is an external act of lowering our self-respect. An extreme example of this act is the lip challenge, in which many young adults indulged in to get voluminous lips like Kylie Jenner. This painful trend exploited youngsters to sucking on a glass to increase the swelling of their lips to gain a puffy pout, similar to that of Kylie Jenner's, 'completely real' perfect mouth. By aspiring to be like Kylie, individuals believed it was acceptable to go through this much preparation and pain that the swelling lasted for days, no one should need to go through that much agony to look like anyone. It is apparent that young adults do not feel good enough in their own skin, and this is not only a female trend.

 The Only Way is Essex has become a major trend recently, especially in relation to young males. The quiff exploited by Joey Essex has became increasingly popular this year with young men who want to incorporate the quiff and the lad like identity. Its evident that it is not just young ladies who are not comfortable in their own skin and aspire to look like someone else.

However, it is clear to see that those who we aspire to act or look similar to have common attributes, they are either famous at this point in time, have a lot of money or are aesthetically pleasing. These common attributes do not lead the path to happiness, this is a common misconception. By following these celebrities, as individuals we are diminishing our own self-respect and happiness by aspiring to be like someone, which is an impossible task. We are our own person and we should celebrate ourselves as unique individuals not as robots trying to incorporate someone else's trends.

The Toxic Comparison

"Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like and celebrating it for everything that it is." 

- MANDY HALE

Recently this quote has become some what of a blessing to my clouded mind. I am just about to start my last year at university, therefore, I am yet another dreary step closer to becoming what society would represent as a 'mature adult.' Although for those who know me will agree this is untrue.

I have noticed a lot of my friends/acquaintances on social media such as Facebook/Instagram/Twitter posting regular exciting and positive updates about their lives. From people I have known since nursery, high-school, university and work people are moving house, being promoted to their dream job, meeting the love of their lives and even giving birth, and basically these posts put me under tremendous pressure that my life is not going how it should be.

It is difficult enough when you are unsure of which direction that your own life is heading, never mind when everyone else seems to own a one way ticket to the perfect life plastered all over my timeline.  However, I have learned that although these exciting and positive outcomes of my friends lives are all very well, it would not suit for everyone to be the same. I have came to understand that worrying will not solve anything or show me the path to my own happiness and to compare your own life to that lived by others is probably the most toxic way of thinking that an individual can indulge in. By comparing our lives to others it is essentially undermining your own and creating a negative energy that 'you're not good enough because you're not the same.' 

We must accept ourselves to become truly content and happy, it would not do to be the same as everyone else. Life has a journey for each and everyone of us and it doesn't all come together at the same time.

I Love Lani Hair

Have you always dreamed of having beach babe locks? Or have you always aimed for mermaid like hair? Well dream no more folks, I present Lani to you! 

Lani is a tropical hair treatment which is 100% natural and 100% vegan. What does this mean? I hear you ask. This tropical paradise hair treatment is made of camellia seed oil, virgin coconut oil, kukui nut out and macadamia nut out - it is basically an organic antidote for hair lacking some necessary loving. Lani is full of natural products which promote healthy new hair growth, it helps you hair hold moisture, it protects against split ends and helps to recover damaged hair. Therefore, if you are a lady trying to grow out your hair this product is perfect for you! It also smells like coconut - leaving you feeling like you've just came straight off the beach, what more could you want?

Lani is super easy to use too. Just massage the solution into dry hair from roots to end and leave on as long or as little as you want - but the longer the better. Shampoo thoroughly and condition as usual and you will notice the difference after just one use. I used Lani last night and woke up this morning to mermaid hair! My hair feels so much softer and more conditioned that usual.

So what are you waiting for ladies? Get straight to www.lovelani.com and order some Lani to gain that beach babe hair before you go on your summer adventures! x

The perfect morning

Sometimes you can wake up after a horrendous nights sleep (or lack of sleep) and feel groggy and lethargic and this can put you in a negative mood before the day has even started. This should not be the case. Every morning should be a blessing to each and everyone of us. We should wake up and feel excited to kick start the day and see what the world has in store for us. Today I offer to you the perfect morning routine to banish those moody mondays and to put a spring in your step the second you get out of bed.

1. Set yourself goals for the day
I recommend you leave a notepad and pen beside your bed and every morning before you get out of your bed and you plan your goals or what you have insight for you that day. This will help you plan your day, keep you on task and keep you motivated. It generally gives you a purpose to get out of bed and to go take on the day.

2. Do morning stretches
Exercise is a great way to relieve any tension from your sleep and to really get your body to wake up. Indulge in a yoga mat if you're not feeling super energetic in the morning and try some yoga before you endure on a stressful day, believe me you will feel the benefit!

3. Drink lemon water
I cannot stress enough the power of lemon water. It is by far the healthiest drink on the planet, besides water. There are endless benefits of drinking lemon water, to name a few, it strengthens your immune system, it enhances your mood, it maintains a pH balance and its even good for your oral health. I suggest drinking hot lemon water before eating in the morning as it cleanses your insides before you start consuming.

4. Have a healthy breakfast
Its true what they say, if you don't start your day with a healthy breakfast you will no doubt notice your lack of energy and motivation. Food makes you feel good, especially when it is good food. So indulge in healthy breakfasts like granola with yoghurt and berries with some coconut milk I swear you won't look back. Or if you really don't like eating in the morning make yourself a smoothie with fresh fruit, it will be sure to lift your mood.

5. Listen to feel good music
Starting your day with a feel good playlist will definitely enhance your mood. You can listen to some of the best morning playlists from Spotify and there are many to choose from.

6. Pick an outfit that makes you feel good
By choosing clothes that make us look more attractive it is known to enhance our mood significantly. The more confident we feel is reflected on what we look like and how we feel in our own skin. So wear that cute dress even if you were saving it for a special occasion, you never know who might turn their head..

7. Check list
Here we go again with my lists. But lets be honest lists are fab. Before you run out the door make sure you have checked your check list to ensure you have everything you need for that day. Nothing puts you in a worse mood than when you've just realised you've forgotten something and its too late to go back to the house to retrieve it. 

8. Tidy as you go
You know yourself there is nothing worse than coming in from a 9-6 shift to a messy room that you left behind that morning, so make sure you tidy as you go, that way you can relax after that long shift. I also suggest putting a scented candle on in the morning as you get ready, always remember to blow it out - you could write it on your checklist! - then when you come home your room will smell lovely!

9. Smile
Before you leave the house, practice smiling. Sounds mad, but smiling can enhance our mood. By practising smiling you not only will feel a lot better about yourself but will be more approachable to other people, a smile is inviting.

10. This is your day - take charge!
Only you can determine how you feel and how your day is going to turn out. Take the bull by the horns and make this the beginning of the rest of your life. Today is your day.

Afraid to Feel

From a young age women are encouraged to illustrate their emotions. By exploiting feelings of affection, sensitivity and empathy from cuddling dolls, to tending to sick teddies and kissing our mothers goodnight, we are all victims of the set attributes of femininity. Therefore, it is not surprising that young women mature to become the complete opposite.

As young adults we begin to notice the shift between caring and neglect and emotion and indifference and this contrast is defined through success. Women observe men in successful platforms as domineering and fruitful with no flinch of emotion and this examination motivates women to incorporate and model the same behavior to gain success. From this theory women adopt the understanding that being nice gets you nowhere, therefore masking their true feelings under a cloak of apathy. Are we the generation afraid to feel?

They say there is a fine line between love and hate but can we distinguish between our feelings nowadays? Living in a generation where it is considered weak to express how you feel towards your eye candy is a major pitfall. Especially when you observe beautiful yet terrifying young women with reckless and emotionless personalities sweeping boys off their feet. For example, Effy Stonem from the popular TV program Skins is portrayed as intimidating, totally independent and attractive to everyone around her. Every girl would love to be her. However, this characterization would only work in an ideal world, realistically Effy would be regarded as a ‘stuck –up bitch’ and boy’s would most likely hate her. Yet we are still inspired to disguise our true emotions in an effort to display a disposition full of mystery to attract men through this seemingly successful game plan. Even pop songs nowadays like to implement the idea that boys like mysterious girls with an attitude. In the number one hit ‘ Blank Space’ Taylor Swift sings ‘You’ll come back each time you leave, cause darling I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream.’ The lyrics emphasize the false idea that women with a fearsome attitude are irresistible to men. Although both Skins and Blank Space should not be taken literally you can’t help but think to yourself, why reinforce self-depreciation and camouflage your inner feelings for a man? Women should be presenting their true feelings with confidence without fear of being judged or criticized. The media should be playing on influential women to implement the idea that men should adore you for who you are, not who you think you should be, especially when it comes to love.

The media plays a dominating role in each and every single person’s life. The most famous individuals are spread across every TV channel, magazine and radio to coax your thoughts and influence your habits. Successful women are often portrayed through the media as fierce and authoritarian, encouraging young women to pack their weary emotions away in their rucksack and endeavor on their own tenacious journey to the land of success. Beyoncé Knowles is regarded as one of the most influential women in the world due to her inspiration to empower women. Oozing confidence, Beyoncé’s talents don’t only revert to entertainer but also businesswoman. Preaching female empowerment, Queen B encourages women to be strong, financially independent and to go out and get what they want. Although such advice may seem extremely inspiring young women do not own the same overpowering assurance that Beyoncé possesses. The lack of confidence within young women is extremely worrying, we idolize successful women such as Beyoncé and Cara Delevingne with their fearsome attitudes not to mention perfect appearance and we shudder in own inferior skin. Should we really be idolizing such individuals? On one hand they influence us to adopt a persona full of determination and courage and on the other hand make us feel as though this goal will forever be out of reach, as we don’t actually fit this character. Young women should be empowered within their self; there is no need for perfect celebrities to cheer empowerment for women, as empowerment comes within.

Eat Pretty Be Pretty

I was recently enlightened to the Eat Pretty Diet that changed the way I feel about myself. What is the eat pretty diet I hear you say? Eat Pretty is guide to help you glow from the inside out though the powerful tool of nutrition. Written by Jolene Hart a beauty and health coach, this book teaches you the in’s and out’s of what you should and shouldn’t be eating, to make you feel and look your best.

The Eat Pretty philosophy gives a thorough insight into what foods should be taking up room in your kitchen and beauty betrayers, which belong in the bin. Beauty betrayers include alcohol, caffeine, canned foods, processed foods and fried foods. This doesn’t mean you can never touch bacon again – as this would be unjust – but just limit your intake of these unhealthy foods and don’t let them take over your life. You will reap the benefits in the long term, I promise.

I started this diet to change my old unhealthy habits of fizzy juice and McDonalds every week to try to bring a glow back to my complexion and keep my body in running order. None of us are getting any younger you know! After only a few days of changing my diet, swapping fizzy juice for water and chocolate for fruit I began to notice a difference in my skin, mood and energy levels. I knew I did the right thing.

However, it is not just food that contributes to healthy living. Sleep, hormones, exercise, breathing and environment all contribute towards your health and well-being. Eat Pretty describes in detail how you can enhance all of these things to feel your best.

Everyday Sexism.. It does happen!

Morning everyone.
I feel like I haven't submitted a blog post in forever. I've been super busy with university from the end of last month and the start of this month that I haven't had anytime to post anything. However, now I am finished university for Christmas, so I shall be back on top with my blogging!

So, yesterday I was shopping in Waterstones after work, trying to find my friend a birthday present and as per usual getting very distracted. I genuinely love book shops. I'd love to work in one, they are so peaceful and full of well-read intelligent shoppers, people who do not harass me with questions as to why there is no fitting room. The manager always asks me if I want a job every time I'm in, maybe I just have that expression on my face of, "please give me a job and money," but I have to assure him I already have one. So I wandered upstairs to the most quiet out of the two floors in Waterstones in search of an enlightening book and much to my disbelief I came across one.

Everyday Sexism is a book by Laura Bates. A young journalist who started a project called "Everyday Sexism." Laura set up a website for people of all ages to post past experiences of sexism and vent their feelings. These experiences escalated from being called "sexy" in the street from a random man, to being touched on the bum in a club to rape - all are as serious as each other as they all illustrate discrimination due to sex.

I am already half way through this book and it has stirred some very strong emotions within me. I have become angry and sad as young girls tweet Bates and highlight how boys in their school classes diminish their intelligence or tell them to "get back to the kitchen" - showing that this discriminative behaviour starts from an early age.

I feel the ironic thing of it all, is that most young boys or even the more uneducated older men do not even know they are being discriminative towards women. Our society raises male and female of two contrasting sexes only to ever meet to come together to create live, but then to live in different segments of society. With the male as the breadwinner and as the female as the mother. It is evident that when women challenge their gender representations, this causes a lot of controversy. From politics to women moving higher up in businesses and large companies a like. From comments of Theresa May's shoes in the media to Chancellor of Germany, Angela Merkel's frumpy suit, women are continually degraded and not taken seriously when in a platform of power.

It is evident men take this as an insult to their own power and ego.

I could rant on all day about the in's and out's that this book has to offer but the only way you can truly experience the insight into everyday sexism is to read the book itself. I promise you will feel your mind open up as you turn each page.

As women we must stand up to everyday sexism and stamp it out!